A little something

9 Jul

Dear friends,

Let’s be honest, shall be? Both because we can and because we should. And because I like you, and at least one of you likes me. Okay, just one. And I’ll take that.

The truth is, it hasn’t been you. It’s been me. No, really. It may be July, but outside my kitchen window, my new hostas are being splattered with rain. Likewise, the last few months have been pretty rain-splattered for me, if I may speak in symbols (and I may, since I am an editor-writer and did major in English; altogether, I have license). You see, I had a loss in April. A very, very big, painful loss, which I won’t ever be able to describe and don’t want to. To make the story short, I have been a grieving mother. I wish I could tell you more, because I’m sure some of you have suffered equally. But I hope that you’ll understand that it’s very hard, even now, to talk about, to think about, to still be experiencing. And going into depth, well, might make me sort of sink (did you like that analogy, too? Get it? Depth–sinking–like in a pool).

Anyway, I thought and thought and thought about whether to tell you, not to tell you, suddenly appear in the dark of night with some new, passionate post about how I’ve gone to pick strawberries at a you-pick farm three times in the last three weeks and have made jam for the first time, and isn’t summer glorious and all that, and take a look at my first garden, my broccoli is enormous. But I felt like this absence…I felt like I should at least say something. I’m also trying to see at least one positive angle look on this mother’s cross of a challenge, which is that sometime, someone will read this very post and be in similar pain and ask for help. And I’m hoping that at that time, I will be able to help.

But enough about that. What I can also say is that I’ve returned, I’m hoping, for good. There’s a lot of food to be talked about, so we will. After all, this is a site about food! And loving it. Doesn’t salt balance chocolate and honey and lime love each other? So I suppose we must have some bitter and some sweet, even on a food blog. But let’s stick mostly to sweet, okay? Deal.

And now. Something simple, not even a recipe, but a discovery. Some background: fruit and chocolate are good friends. We know it from the depths of our chocolate-covered-strawberry hearts, from the shores of fondue pools to the banks of rasperry hot chocolate (my way of putting in some patriotic words in place of posting for the Fourth). And yet…Nutella…and cherries? Yes, of course! And one day, in a fit of hunger and a greedy abundance of cherries (see thrice-picking of strawberries, above), I thought, “Need whole grains. Toast. Check. Need protein…Nutella…not really, but close enough. Need…cherries? Yes, cherries!” And there you have it, my entire revelation, which, if you were here, you’d know about in five seconds instead of reading it in thirty. But it needed a story; I couldn’t very well say, “Hey, you should put Nutella on your whole-wheat toast and then put sliced cherries on top. And eat it.” On the other hand, I just did.

The case, evidence as dark as ever.

The case, evidence as dark as ever.

The judgment. It was a righteous judgment. I continued to judge.

The judgment. It was a righteous judgment. I continued to judge.

-Erin

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18 Responses to “A little something”

  1. Kristina July 9, 2009 at 8:40 pm #

    Done! I will do this. I’m glad you’re back to updating.

  2. Kristina July 10, 2009 at 5:09 am #

    Done! I will do this. I’m glad you’re back to updating.
    Sorry, forgot to add great post! Can’t wait to see your next post!

  3. Mr. Bell Pepper July 12, 2009 at 1:11 pm #

    “It was a righteous judgment. I continued to judge.”

    That slayed me. I really wish I had come up with that. Nevertheless, I will be stealing it and using it in future witticisms (such as they are).

    • esprout February 11, 2011 at 8:42 pm #

      Mr. Bell Pepper? Huh. I knew a Chili Pepper in high school–are you related? It’a common last name, so probably not.

  4. Jennifer August 5, 2009 at 1:51 pm #

    I found you through reading Kristina’s comments and saw Sprouted and had to look you up. I’ve been trying to sprout some wheat (for the first time) and I’m having issues. I read through quite a few of your posts, but didn’t see anything about sprouting. Do you actually sprout?

    I have no idea what kind of a loss you’ve experienced, but I’ve experienced a really painful, “Was-this-close-to-becoming-a-mom”, kind of loss. Nobody can say anything to make you feel any better. Anything anyone says just falls short. But I hope your heart mends and you find peace.

    • esprout February 11, 2011 at 8:41 pm #

      Hey, Jennifer, no sprouting of wheat for me, but that would make sense for my last name and blog name, eh? Buy, store, and grind wheat, yes. But I’d be interested in learning about it. I stopped by your blog eons ago and just now–and life has changed for you! Oh, joy. I’m happy for you.

  5. Laura August 11, 2009 at 8:45 pm #

    Yum! Looks tasty and I’m glad you posted about your life . . . I’m thinking of you.

    • esprout February 11, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

      Thanks, Laura. Feeling better now!

  6. marla August 28, 2009 at 11:39 am #

    makes my heart hurt for you.
    love you erin.
    love your fun colorful blog too…
    you are a talented writer.
    xoxox, marla

    • esprout February 11, 2011 at 8:38 pm #

      Marla, you are so good. I want to be near you in heaven, deal? Save me a spot in your neighborhood, if you get there first.

  7. damaris February 18, 2010 at 10:49 am #

    Hi, thanks for visiting my bebeloo blog. I have a food blog too (actually I have two)

    thanks for thinking of Natalie. I will pass this forward to her.

    you are kind. I hope life is bringing more happy experiences to you.

    • esprout February 11, 2011 at 8:38 pm #

      Hello, Damaris! I actually have blog-stalked you. Good-looking blog your food blog is! I admire your tenacity in just going for it. Who knows how many more Design Moms there are out there, hiding in us?

  8. Sonja July 8, 2010 at 10:26 pm #

    I’m sorry for your loss – whatever it was. I’m a big fan of Nutella, and the chocolate/cherry combo looks delicious. I’ll have to try it.

    • esprout February 11, 2011 at 8:37 pm #

      Thank you, Sonja, very kind of you. Things are much better around here–I make pavlovas and lentil soups and thick ganache that I eat straight from a spoon. :) Life is good.

    • esprout July 26, 2011 at 1:18 pm #

      Thanks, Sonja.

  9. Sara July 15, 2010 at 10:25 pm #

    What a small world! The names are so similar, compliments to you :) Thanks for visiting my site, and I appreciate the compliment. It certainly is tough to keep on top of the blog, it takes a lot of work, we are getting a little burnt out. As we trek everything over to my parents house every week, as their kitchen is nicer and has better light. Its time consuming :) Best of luck to you!

    • esprout February 11, 2011 at 8:35 pm #

      Yes, funny indeed. I understand the blog burnout, as evidenced by this ol’ thing here! Although I have fantastic intentions. When you grow up, the pie stays the same size, but you have to cut more and more pieces! Thus the bloggity blog gets left behind sometimes. Thanks for the inspiration.

    • esprout July 26, 2011 at 1:18 pm #

      Thanks, Sara!

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